The Mourning After Respite...
The Mourning After Respite...
On June 21st 2012 I woke up to that one call all parents dread…
My son had been involved in a fatal motor cycle accident. In the blink of an eye, my life was changed forever.
I heard the words and as I was trying to make sense of what was being said, the phone disconnected. Wait… WAIT! Where is he? I fell to my knees, head in hands and I begin to wail uncontrollably. Throwing myself forward onto the floor as if in prayer with my arms stretched out in front of me as I begged “NO, NO, PLEASE NO…” I rocked back and forth on my knees thrusting myself forward onto the floor while wailing for what felt like an eternity. I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried... A piece of my soul was being ripped from my chest in that moment as I wept.
Eventually the tears stopped. There were no emotions left, I was numb. Nothing remained but a very heavy fog. I became silent and I withdrew inward. I just wanted to fall asleep so the questions would stop, but then I would dream... Upon waking, I would gaze out blankly in disbelief. The dream felt so real. I could hear people talking but the words would slip right through my grasp. It was an effort just to breath. How could I possibly go on? What was the point of even trying?
From experience, I can tell you there is hope... It wont be easy. Minute by minute you must choose to keep taking that next breath. You must choose to find something to be grateful for despite the circumstances. At some point you pause to look back and you realize you have not only survived but you have flourished in ways you could never have imagined. It can be done, it's all about choices. You can choose to be the victim of your circumstances or you can choose to be the victor.
It is my dream to one day open a respite where those grieving can heal mentally, physically and spiritually. Until that time, I have created this space as the first step towards that goal. I hope the words you find here will bring you peace, comfort and strength. Knowing you are not alone.
Our loved ones are always with us even though we may not be able to see or hear them any longer. All we have to do is close our eyes and open our hearts and we can feel their presence. The soul has no boundary.
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